The correct answer to the age old question

It’s that time of year again; where one often finds oneself surrounded by strangers and colleagues at ‘Christmas parties’, and often on the receiving end of the most depressing question known to mankind:

‘so, Ignatius what is it that you do ?

Not to be taken at face value  – ‘well y’know. What I do is dance the macarena and sometimes play the tuba, and dress up in women’s clothes when the urge takes me. ‘

What they actually mean is ‘what pointless subservient task consumes the majority of your life  ?’

The Ig prefers a direct response here, cutting through the ambiguity.

‘What I do doesn’t matter.  Never has, never will. We’re all just worker droids working fo the man,  until the man decides we’ve out worked our usefulness to him and are too decrepit and a liability  to continue.

Then our tired, beaten down bodies and minds finally wake up stunned, and we look back in a confused manner at a life wasted.
We ruminate on where the time all went, and the missed opportunities that we never took, and at the slow soul-crushing destruction of everything that made us unique and special’.

I like delivering the above in the style of a 50’s Film noir hard boiled American detective for extra pathos.

Good for getting rid of Nigel of accounts.

Incidentally I can be booked for corporate Motivational speaking btw – get in touch if you require my services.

I’m quiet on this front for some reason.